"Freedom Tastes Like Silence After Screaming"

I am glad I didn't continue with it, am happy for that one big decision I made to sail across the heavy tornado of regrets and self pity for my unknown fut

ure.. Currently living with zero "had I known" because I fought all the "if I knew I could have" and living a proud "Am glad, I did " life! What a leap!

 

      She didn't realise when she said "tell them to come" that was her 17year old voice affirming to an "Arranged marriage, she was still underaged but she had matured dreams for herself, She knew deep within her guts, that what she agreed to, wasn't what she wanted, but she said yes, nevertheless, the marital rites events was fast, that she found myself on the journey of " Mrs " it scared her more, this wasn't her dreams! the traditional marriage was loud, she was practically the envy of her agemates, she reminisced about her female cousin requesting that she put her in  prayers, to get married asap just like she did (she was the first to carry the news of her divorce around the village) she nodded without saying a word, she whispered to herself;'I wish she knew this smiles is just a facade " she was just too scared to say "mum,dad, I can't do this" months flew past by&she had her first bad phase of 4months with "marital hurricane", it got worse that, all she ever wanted was to quit, she boldly took it up& fought for it, it was as if the world launched missiles at her, that she almost died trying to avert the circumstances, people talked for months, she was referred and described as a "divorcee" but she wasn't fluttered, she was determined, She was fearless, she was relentless, and turned deaf ears to their rants, blind eyes to their long fingers pointing constantly at her.. she wasn't just a victim of "Arranged marriage" but an "escapee" and a "survivor ."

   80% of arranged marriages fail because we play the "ignorant fool" to the basics, "drowning our voices echoing in our minds", "hey Jane, you have always wanted to get married, this is an opportunity, grab it!" And Jane grabs it without nurturing a relationship first , few years later, she's being petty over what she should have averted when she had the guts to!.  don't delve into commitment immediately you are introduced to your spouse, take your time to get to know them first, their likes and dislikes, their dreams, what they think and act like, its heartbreaking how most persons live with the ideology of "when we marry, we will learn to love each other" and character as well , wait, what? Learn to what? What if your spouse introduces a MIC 404(Marriage in Chaos) Course that  you can't pass? And he/she  becomes intolerable? Are you going to end up with a divorce? when you are enlightened enough to court when you could have? 

    Most cases of "infidelity" on the scale of 1-100, 70% are victims of arranged marriages, if not 80%, build love, let it grow between you two, work on understanding each other, and not rushing into marriage just to start learning how to love, and "when you see a cute young man, walking down the streets, your head and heart will wedge a war of comparison".

      "Arranged marriage" is not a bad idea, but get to know your spouse first, spend time with them and thank me later, most ladies say "yes" to arranged marriage because of the peer pressure, societal pressure and family pressure " only to end up dying secretly in pain and hating the man they married,because of the situation you gladly put yourself into.  And the amusing part is; society, family, none of them will be there when it gets tough, Pay deaf ears to the wedding bells,turn a blind eyes to the pre-wedding pictures, be a "wife, a keeper, a builder" instead of a "victim" or a "Runaway mom ".

Before you say " yes" to that arranged marriage or proposal, ask yourself deep personal questions; this is someone you will wake up to everyday, are you ready to see this face constantly without getting bored? Can you tolerate his/her best and worst behaviors? Is he/she someone you can be faithful to? "bearing in mind the societal demands and repercussions when a wife cheats on her husband?"

Can you stand being faithful and wanting to be with him alone? Will this marriage bring you happiness or loneliness? Is this worth the "walk of eternity"?.

    If you can't answer the above questions, save yourself from " marriage in chaos" be an escapee instead of a victim". Its a long walk into eternity, don't jump into conclusions or let his wealth blind your visions, there are scenarios in a marital life, that money won't solve, but love and understanding will. Choose wisely! .

I have seen heart burning cases of guys leaving their 4years or more relationships just to marry, the girl their aunt or mother chose for them and after the marital fun rites?? Boom!! "The package explodes and it starts burning son, mother and aunt"

A guy would boldly leave a lovely dolphin (fiancee) that has been to war and back for him because of few flaws she has, that can be handled, just to end up with "crab" that will squeeze a huge amount of blood out of him because of arranged marriage. 

    I am not saying arranged marriage" is a total flop" but don't make a hasty decision, take your time,get to know them, and if your spirit doesn't blend with your spouse's , say "no"! Don't let anyone turn your " no " to "yes". You are the one getting married. Make yourself a cute choice.

  Marriage is bittersweet, but there's something enduring about it's bittersweet, when you taste it all with someone your heart and body is at peace with, desires and is comfortable with, someone you can tame his devil and embrace his angel, Take your time, get to know your spouse, love your spouse and walk boldly into your marriage. I hope your own choice of life partner brings you cheers and not chaos.

                      

                   ©HerMixedMuse