"Is it right for a lady to take the first step in proposing to a guy?"
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There's a reason why a man has been the one proposing from the origin of existence, because a woman has a rare dignity and self respect to uphold.
I know there are so many videos trending online, about a woman being the first to propose to a guy, am not against it, if you have the guts to initiate the proposal idea, it's totally fine, but , a subtle reminder that this is Africa, not just any Africa but Nigeria, filled with Men that believes in the culture of a true African man, you might see yourself in a scenario where you have to "please him for the rest of your sweet life", Don't let desperation put you in a pitiable situation. I personally don't see myself proposing to Marry any guy, but I can comfortably tell you "I love you" without expecting much in return, but the truth is : I ended up losing 2 of my good friends because I told them "I loved them"; as much as this proposing idea might look cute on Social media videos and movies, it honestly won't survive here in Africa, most of our men view emotions and proposal differently.
In a chat with few learned personas I know, they gave their own perception about a woman proposing to a man" in the section below:-
Mr Shed, made it clear that, He's a combination of both African and western culture, but he still believes a woman shouldn't propose first: he said "I'm an African who haven't left the shores of his native country, but via media, learnt about the way of life of the westerners,Ladies, should do so implicitly,Not verbally. By implicitly I mean by her actions,Behavioural dispositions in the relationship,Personally, if a woman propose to me, I would be amused.I won't take her serious, lest she got the owo,It all depends on my level of relationship with her and the acceptance I gave to her.
Iphee Collections said; "Lol I am in between.I know I can make moves to a guy but he has to take the lead when we both have established the fact that we have feelings for each other" but when asked if she can propose to a guy , she said; "No".
Toxic Obsession seemed to have a different opinion when he said ; "I dnt believe in any of those. To me, whoevr ready, must yan".
Amos said: "I won't say it's wrong for a lady to propose to a guy, but in this part of the world maybe because of their mentality it's somhw, I think d lady should let it come from d guy. But to me I see nothing wrong in it".
An anonymous believes and stands firmly with African Culture when he said; "Is not our culture here in Africa and igboland precisely". When asked what his reaction would be if he gets a proposal from a girl, this is what he had to say;" If is outside(public) I can just jokingly and playful save her d embarrassment but if she did in a close place like is just us i will tell her plain is not tradition. We have ethics and a girl proposing to a man is not an African ethics or way of life".
Another anonymous said; "Not in our culture to do so,Me I can't do so biko".
Amadi Linda added ;"Sure, of course a lady can propose to a guy The world won't end if the lady make a first move, but As feminine we deserve that strong man to come and whisk us away to our future, and not ladies doing that" she gave the other side of her suggestion when she said; "Ladies, let's not do this personally I don't support it! Some men can end the relationship if that's happen and it shows you're desperate". When asked if she can propose to a man, she said; "I can't".
Udeme Samuel he said; "Is not right joor,but you can take a first step in telling him about your feelings". When asked if she can propose to a guy she had this to say;"If am attracted to one and he isn't aware i can do that myself, but I can't propose marriage".
Olugbeje Samson, who is currently in a relationship due to a girl's proposal to him , had this to say;"Am an African with western mentality,Is not bad for a lady taking the first step ...according to Faze..if you love somebody walk up to him or her and tell ham how u feel.... I feel it should b based on the two gender,My babe now took the first step...thou was awkward to.me at first but right now is different story i love her dieeeee!!! 😍". When asked his opinion if he is faced with a marriage proposal he smiled and said;Marriage proposal??? As for this wen we get to that stage we will cross it.....it will feel awkward thou not right in that aspect".😅
Bro. Anaelechi Chimbuchi relating the issue to biblical record said; "For it's not right but Biblical wise and African wise". When asked if he can accept such proposal he said ; "No, I won't accept and I won't hate her.
How African or Western Am I?
I am a half breed of both, because I feel that certain things ought to be done in a certain way and the world itself needs balance despite the nature of the mentality, thoughts, actions,principles, perceptions and decisions. Despite the nature of what the belief is , if one out weighs the other, the effect would be catastrophic. I can easily tell a guy I admire that "I love him or I like him". But there's a limit to what I can do, I don't see myself proposing to Marry a guy, that doesn't mean the other ladies doing it are insane or wrong, but life needs "Balance" its just 98% out of a 100 African men, that would see no fault in it, the 2% there's a 97% possibility of them taking advantage of the Lady, claiming they were forced to marry, it's just the way it turns out to be most times.
Before you propose to a man, I hope you can run a background check on how African he is and his perception about our culture, be certain you are not proposing out of pressure or fear of losing him. I hope you make the right decisions that makes your life worth the survival.
©Chimlee
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